Thought Crimes
1: Heyyyy, whats up dude, What are you doing here?
2: Its a bookstore right? so just trying to get some nice books to read.
1: But why in the world are you standing in this section?
2: Why whats wrong here? I was trying to get something on the peloponnesian war!
1: Dude, its the 'warfare books' section and that salesman is looking at us weirdly.
2: Oh come on! You are not suggesting that we cannot even browse warfare books now!
1: I am not suggesting anything but it just does not seem right to be standing here right now. Let's move.
2: Okay okay. Let me get some regional maps then I am driving to Minnesota tomorrow.
1: Maps?? Are you in your senses? You have any idea what they would think if they see us looking at maps!!
2: Come on now! Be reasonable.
1: Reason says that there are a dozen more sections in this bookstore and we don't have to stand here in maps! See we can look for some nice books here in the 'Landscape and Architecture' area. They are so many good books here.
2: Hmm. Lets see if we have something of interest here.
1: What is this you are reading?
2: Its a nice book on national architecture and some famous architects.
1: You are reading 'Most important buildings of America' !!!!! What has gotten into you yaar?? Are you nuts or something. See how that white chap is staring at us. I am telling you man you'll get us into trouble.
2: Why the hell are you panicking! We are just reading books here. We are not doing anything dangerous or harmful. We are not blowing any…
1: Stop it right there! You are totally insane. Holy Cow, You were gonna utter the B word here. Whats wrong with you pal!
2: Whats wrong with you??? I am simply standing in a bookstore trying to read some books!
1: Read a novel or something man! Look at these fiction books. They have all the great authors here 'Jeffrey Archer', 'Danielle Steel', 'John Grisham…oh lets leave him out'. See they have thousands of novels here. Why don't you pick a good one to read from here?
2: I'll see if they have anything worth reading but I am not moving again. Period.
1: Okay okay!
2: Why are you staring at me like this? What did I do now??
1: You are reading a Science fiction novel by 'Lee Harper'! Do you have any idea what he's famous for?
2: Yeah. He has the coolest and most extraordinary gadgets.
1: Or what many people call 'weapons'.
2: Hey I am not moving to any other section now. I've had enough.
1: Yes. We are going out of the bookstore now. Its too dangerous here!
2: I will walk out just because you insist but whatever happened to my freedom of expression thing? I am telling you, you are panicking way too much. Don't be so scared and so cynical of people here. Not everyone has a prejudice against brown people. You are making a fuss out of nothing. You should not think that everyone here is a racist or something just because of a few people. We should not cultivate this kind of an attitude within ourselves. We should..
3: You both are under arrest for indulging into suspicious activities and terrorizing the public through your behavior. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law.
With this wrinkle, I thee wed …
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia – A 33-year-old man in northern Malaysia has married a 104-year-old woman, saying mutual respect and friendship had turned to love, a news report said Tuesday.
It was Muhamad Noor Che Musa’s first marriage and his wife’s 21st, according to The Star newspaper, which cited a report in the Malay-language Harian Metro tabloid.
Muhamad, an ex-army serviceman, said he found peace and a sense of belonging after meeting Wook Kundor, whom he said he initially sympathized with because she was childless, old and alone, the report said.
From: Associated Press
Karo-Kari
From Today's Dawn:
KARACHI, June 8: Several civil society organisations, including the Aurat Foundation and Women’s Action Forum, have strongly condemned the decree by a jirga that the parties involved in the dispute involving karo-kari (honour killing) should exchange seven women in compensation.
In a joint press statement issued here on Thursday, the organizations deplored that despite the ban imposed by the high court on jirga system, as well as the presence of a new law forbidding the trading of women in compensation (Badlai-Sulah), the practice was going on unabated.
They appealed to the Supreme Court to take suo motu notice of the holding of jirgas. They said it was duty of the state to stop this kind of condemnable customs and prevent the woman from becoming a commodity.
The organisations have threatened to launch a countrywide protest if the jirga’s verdict was implemented by exchanging women in compensation.
It may be mentioned here that the a jirga was held in Village Kamal Magsi, near Thul taluka of Jacobabad district to settle case of honour killing of a youth that had taken place some five years back. The tribal elders’ jirga, presided over by an MNA, issued the decree that involved five selected virgin women and an amount of Rs735,000 being fine with the beneficiaries being the Banglani and Nandwani clans.
Eight virgin women were produced before the two clans for selection following the issuance of the decree.
Amid continued protest by civil society organisations, yet another jirga was held and it ordered a defaulter to hand over two women of his family in lieu of the unpaid loan.—PPI
Budget speech by Pakistan’s Finance Minister — worth reading
My dear Higher-ups in Washington and Oh Dear Bottoms-up in Pakistan, this is Shan-O-Shaukat Aziz presenting the "Fudget 2002". As you know the economy would not Budge an inch. We wanted to "Budge-it", so we prepared a "Budget". The economy would still not Budge. So the Cheap Executive told me to "Fudge-it" just as IT professionals Fudge data. So again this is Shan-O-Shaukat Aziz with the "2002 Fudget speech". This Fudget will make Pakistan comparable to Japan (in size) and will make Ethiopian economy envy us. This fudget is exactly according to the aspirations of the govt. and VIPs. We promise that there will be no Mini-Fudgets coming except may be a dozen or two. Now lets take a look at some of the Haay-Haay-Lites: The National Fudget has a volume of 742 Billion. Of-course, the Volume will put Pressure on the Masses and raise their Temperature. I would like to tell you that I have studied Physics from Univ. of TantaRama at UltaLayria. 150 Billion have been set aside for debt retirement. 50 Billion have been set aside for my own retirement. The high end commercial financial business overdraft has been curtailed by -0.3% of collateral asset mark-up evaluation for adhoc bank cleans T/Ts encompassing the capital gains overflow trade trend. Whoever has included this in the speech, should see me afterwards. 100 Billions have been reserved for defense staff. "200 Bullions" have been reserved by the wives of the defense staff. My poor Pakistanis, what's wrong with you….At a time when the Cheap Executive has bright imaginations of breaking the assembly…all you think is about breaking the bread. You have to grow up … I mean grow up your own bread. The past finance minister "Surcharge Aziz" levied so many taxes on poor people. Actually people always mean poor. So, as I was saying that there were so many Sur-Charges forced on people; our govt. has replaced all of them by "Sir-Sharges". The "Sir" is sitting in President's House and "Charges" are "Charging". According to a health study, Oil and Ghee is bad for health. That's Why we have increased the price of shortenings by Rs.15. This will encourage the public to start eating healthy by boiling the food. Of-course we have raised the prices of Sui-Gas by 15% because another study shows that eating raw preserves all the nutrients. In fact, we have raised the prices of all edibles by 20% because another study shows that eating is the cause of all ailments. This will encourage the masses to drink water and eat air. Verily, 50% of the population doesn't have water and the other 50% don't have clean air and so this will encourage Pakistanis to….Let me get back to the speech. 90 Billion have been allocated for domestic loans servicing. 89 Billion have been allocated for "Cheekh of Army Staff's" limousine servicing. The Cheekh of Staff told me personally that as a great service to Common man we should reduce the tariff on imported cars. So, we have come up with a formula – the bigger the engine, the lesser the duty. Now let’s take an example. A very un-common man with a 0 CC engine (Paidal!) will pay 200% duty. A not so common man owning Toyota Super Saloon with a 2500 CC engine will pay 100% duty. A very common man with Mercedes S500 with 5000 CC engine will pay 0% duty. And if one can import a luxury liner with 500,000 CC, govt. will pay him from its own pocket. The Tauheen-e-Risalat law was causing problems in Capital…I mean Capitol Hill. So we have decided to replace it with "Tauheen-e-Washington" law. This law has two corollaries: 1) Tauheen-e-World Tank 2) Tauheen-e-International Monetary Fraud Hence anyone who criticizes Washington or revolts against World Bank/IMF policies will have to pay a dear price. The dear price will be deposited in the National Exchequer. Our Foran Exchange policy is unaltered. If you have Black Money in Rupees, Foran Exchange it into Dollars. If you have black money in dollars, Foran Exchange into gray money. Gray reminds me of the hair color of the President; gray is such a beautiful color as my suit is also gray. Phone charges are up by 15% & Phony charges by 20%, Milk is up 25% & Silk is up 30%, Atta is up by 35% & Ghata is up by 40%, income tax is up by 45% & outcome tax by 50%. All subsidies have been taken back. This is done to make sure that the public can stand on its own feet and stop relying on govt. support. Also, what govt. gives, it can take back as well. What people give, they cannot take it back. At last there is some good news. US economy is improving which gives me the hope of getting my last job back at Citi Bank after I am done with Pakistan. These Haay-Lites will give you a good insight of the way things will turn out in 2002. I have to leave now, as I am about to attend a wedding where 5,000 people will be having dinner in violation of the federal rule. World Bank Paeend-a-Baad Pakistan Aaeend-a-Baad Chief Executive Shaad-bad Washington Manzil-e-Murad
pondering out loud..
ek nukte pe munhassir hey judaai teri
ek nukta mujhey tujh sey, ae khuda jorta hey
dil main rehta hey agar woh tu taajjub hey mujhey
kaisa makeen hey jo apnay makaan ko torta hey
hmm..people would kill and get killed for this today!
An Excerpt from "Selections from the Travels of Ibn Battuta" :
—– My stay at Iwalatan lasted about fifty days; and I was shown honor and entertained by its habitants……..The state of affairs amongst these people is indeed extraordinary. Their men show no signs of jealousy whatever; no one claims descent from his father, but on the contrary from his mother's brother. A person's heirs are his sister's sons, not his own sons. This is a thing which I have seen nowhere in the world except among the Indians of Malabar. But those are heathens; these people are muslims, punctilious in observing the hours of prayer, studying books of law, and memorizing the koran. Yet their women show no bashfulness before men and do not veil themselves, though they are assiduous in attending the prayers. Any men who wishes to marry one of them may do so, but they do not travel with their husbands, and even if one desired to do so her family would not allow her to go.
The women there have "friends" and "companions" amongst the men outside their own families, and the men in the same way have "companions" amongst the women of other families. A man may go into his house and find his wife entertaining her "companion" but he takes no objection to it. One day at Iwalatan I went into the qadi's house, after asking his permission to enter, and found with him a yound woman of remarkable beauty. When I saw her I was shocked and turned to go out, but she laughed at me, instead of being overcome by shame, and the qadi said to me "Why are you going out? She is my companion." I was amazed at their conduct, for he was a theologian and a pilgrim to boot. I was told that he had asked the sultan's permission to make the pilgrimage that year with his "companion" (whether this one or not I cannot say) but the sultan would not grant it. ——
Thoughts????
Stupid? Practical? Outrageous?
I would just say that this is not the only society that I've heard/read about practicing this.
yadi yadi yadi…
Just finished watching bombay. Excellent movie; resonates very well with the only thing that I feel reallly strongly about. The irrational behaviors based on stupid religious notions, or seemingly religious notions.
Bono is so right when he says that "religion usually comes in the way of God."
The point is, everybody think that they have the most liberal, rational or justifiable behaviour when it comes to religion, never knowing that what they are terming 'justifiable' might be harmful in many ways. Like some parents would say "I am not a religious fundamentalist, I am just saying that it is important to beat up your kid if they don't do namaz". They never know what this freedom would mean to all the religious mentors, the most horrible of creatures. There are so many stories(true ones) about these maulvis who tutor Quran to kids. I myself have seen them spanking kids, hitting them with a stick, pulling down their trousers and spanking on their bare bottoms and what not. But I know that I have seen nothing. My dad tells me of this one maulvi who actually used to tie up kids with chains and then beat them.(Yes its true, because my dad and my uncle knew this maulvi closely and they told us that every student of his used to curse him that may he die a horrible death and he did die of some really disgusting disease). I hate those fucking parents too who allow such things to happen to their children. is it any better then the custom of throwing children in wells, or burying them as soon as their fucking born?
I was really impressed by Ibn-e-Battuta till I read what he did when he became the Qazi of this set of islands around Maldives. he issued the order that anyone who does not come to the friday prayers should be whipped with a hunter. Fucking bastard.
Malang 